The Emotional Challenge of Finding Senior Care Solutions for a Parent

You’ve been worried that mom isn’t as steady on her feet as she used to be. Or maybe a recent diagnosis of dementia leaves you reeling about dad’s ability to live at home safely. As you start the process of learning about senior living options to ensure an aging parent’s well-being and safe living conditions, uncomfortable feelings of guilt can begin to creep into your thoughts. 

According to Psychology Today, guilt is felt for a variety of reasons, but generally fits into one of five categories, including:

• Guilt over something that you did
• Guilt for something you didn’t do, but want to
• Guilt over something that you think you did
• Guilt that you didn’t do enough to help someone else
• Guilt that you’re doing better than someone else

A major source of guilt for adult children is the sense of not being able to prevent the pain and discomfort that their aging parents are facing. Especially as a parent encounters life altering obstacles like health challenges, retirement, downsizing a family home or the loss of a spouse, adult children can offer love but are powerless to protect them from going through these stressful situations. This is compounded for family caregivers who fall into the sandwich generation, stretched thin by the responsibilities of supporting both parents dealing with aging challenges as well as children who need their guidance. Knowing that helping to relocate a parent to a senior community to address their changing needs can intellectually be the right thing to do, but many people still struggle with feelings of guilt or shame.  

Guilt can occur when a person feels that they’re falling short of the expectations of other people as well as the sense of not meeting the elevated standards we set for ourselves. Trying to achieve things that we feel we should do can be overwhelming and guilt inducing. We may feel like we’ve failed as a family caregiver as a parent’s health needs become more than we can handle. The role reversal of making decisions on their behalf feels awkward and adult children may have a difficult time even bringing up the conversation about considering senior options. 

How can you tackle this daunting situation while dealing with feelings of guilt? The first step is to acknowledge the feelings that have come up for you as you seek guidance for senior solutions. It is normal to feel conflicted and guilty.  You’re not alone in these feelings.  

Have an honest and gentle conversation with your parent. They may be having concerns about their own safety that they are hesitant to bring up to you. Listen to their thoughts, honor their feelings and make sure that you lead with empathy. An open dialogue about fears as well as the excitement that a new start can bring is powerful. Change can be hard but the results can provide peace of mind for your parents as well as the rest of your family. 

Researching senior solutions will empower you and your family to make educated decisions.  By working with a local senior care advisor from CarePatrol, you will feel confident in understanding the level of care that your parent or loved one needs. Through the CarePatrol discovery process, you will have the right options tailored for your family member. Your local senior care advisor will set up tours of the right communities, accompany your family on these visits to ensure that your questions are answered and help you through the process. CarePatrol makes move-in day less stressful and will be a part of your loved one’s care team in the future, especially if their needs change. There is no cost to you or your family for these valuable services. Reach out today and rest easy tonight.