One of the cornerstones of gratitude in senior care is the compassionate caregivers who become pillars of support for those unable to care for themselves. These individuals work tirelessly to ensure the well-being of seniors, providing not only physical assistance but also emotional support during difficult times.

In 2023, we find ourselves standing at the forefront of progress in dementia care. Researchers, medical professionals, and caregivers have made significant strides in understanding and addressing the unique needs of individuals living with dementia. Innovative therapies, personalized care plans, and increased awareness contribute to creating a more compassionate and supportive environment for both seniors and their caregivers.

Local communities are recognizing the importance of senior care and responding with various support initiatives. From volunteer programs that assist seniors to community centers offering engaging activities, these efforts foster a sense of belonging and reduce the isolation that seniors may sometimes experience.

The integration of technology in senior care has been a game-changer in 2023. From smart devices that enhance safety to telehealth services that provide convenient access to medical professionals, technology has empowered caregivers and improved the overall quality of life for seniors.

Acknowledging the complexities of senior care, there has been an increased emphasis on professional training and education for caregivers. In 2023, individuals committed to this noble cause have access to resources that help them enhance their skills, providing better care for seniors facing a myriad of challenges.

Caregivers navigate through a myriad of challenges, from physical exhaustion to emotional strain. Yet, their resilience shines through. The unwavering commitment to their role, despite the difficulties, is a testament to the strength of character and the genuine care they extend to those in need.

As we express gratitude for the advancements and commitments in senior care in 2023, let us also recognize the profound impact these individuals have on the lives of our loved ones. Their dedication, compassion, and resilience create a brighter and more supportive landscape for seniors facing physical and cognitive challenges. In a world where the care of our elderly is of paramount importance, these heroes are the beacons guiding us through difficult times, reminding us to be grateful for the threads of kindness woven into the fabric of senior care.

Emma’s world had changed dramatically since her mom’s diagnosis. The mom and daughter were always close and they shared a special bond. Emma did not hesitate to move mom into her home when it became apparent that she could no longer manage by herself.  As a single mom with a young daughter, Emma had to balance motherhood, a demanding job, and the responsibilities of being a full time caregiver.  The mental and emotional stress was taking its toll, and Emma told me “I’m on the edge of losing my mind.”

When I met with Emma and Margaret in their home, Margaret was looking comfortable at the kitchen table eating cookies. There was a bulletin board full of family pictures that gave me insight into years of wonderful family memories.  I commented that mom had beautiful blue eyes.  Emma said that when she now looked into those eyes, all she saw was confusion. She looked at mom and said “I love my mom, but don’t know how much longer I can do this on my own.”  Margaret was lost in her own world.  She simply kept smiling and eating cookies.

Emma poured out her heart.  She felt it was her responsibility to take care of mom.  Mom made her promise that she would never put her in a nursing home. Keeping mom at home meant providing her with the comfort of familiar surroundings, but it also meant constant supervision which was exhausting and Emma could no longer provide.  A memory care community offered the specialized help mom needed, but she could not bring herself to make that decision.

We discussed the many benefits of a memory care community including specialized programming, experienced caregivers, a safe environment and medication management.  I recalled the positive experiences of the many families I work with in similar situations. We also discussed the outcomes of families that chose to keep their loved ones at home and the impact of those decisions. Listening to these experiences, Emma realized she was not alone in her struggle.

Emma was starting to feel emotionally overwhelmed.  She asked, “if this was your mom, what would you do?”  I took out a piece of paper and wrote “Don’t Let Your Mom’s Dementia Make You Lose Your Mind.”  She pinned it on the kitchen bulletin board. We also discussed what mom may experience as the dementia progressed, support services for adult kids of parents with dementia, and the different memory care options available. I arranged tours of communities and we visited them together. Emma cried during the tour when she saw the other memory care residents. She also smiled when she saw residents lounging in the courtyard, participating in therapy, and best of all eating cookies at the kitchen table – mom’s favorite thing.

The day mom moved into the memory community was tough for Emma. She watched mom settle into her new room, surrounded by staff members that welcomed her with open arms and made her feel special. Over the next several days, Margaret’s confusion began to wane as she settled into the new community routine.  Emma knew it was the best decision for mom’s well-being.

Emma didn’t lose her mind.  Instead, she found peace and clarity.  With mom’s care now in capable hands, she could focus on her own well-being and spend quality time with her daughter and friends. The care burden was lifted and the connection with her mom remained strong.  She was back to being a daughter, not a caregiver. Margaret had  made the difficult decision, one filled with love and sacrifice. In the process, she found a way to preserve her own well-being and the memory of the vibrant blue-eyed woman who filled her kitchen bulletin board with so many amazing memories.

When Maureen called my CarePatrol office, she needed help with her mom and brother, Sean.  Mom had dementia.  Sean had a bad attitude and a hot temper.  Maureen wanted to find mom an appropriate memory care community.  Sean felt it was his responsibility to take care of mom, and she had been living in his home for the past year. Dementia had been cruel to mom. They both witnessed her memories and independence fade. Her personality change from passive to aggressive.  Sean was consumed by his own mix of emotions including helplessness, sadness and anger.

I worked with Maureen for months before we were able to get Sean to agree to talk with me. When Sean first called me, he asked “what are you going to do for me?”  I said I was going to offer him a lifeline.  It was going to start with compassion and understanding.  It would include a care plan that provided physical, cognitive and emotional support for mom and the family.  By relieving him from the caregiving burden, we would also expect the love and patience he wished he had to return.

Our initial conversations were difficult. Mom’s disease progression was getting worse, and this was causing him deep pain and also his own remorse over how he was responding to the woman who loved and cared for him his entire life. He sacrificed his own family time to be a caregiver, and she no longer recognized him as her son. His children were mad at him for missing their sports games and not having time to connect on weekends. No son should have to toilet and shower their mom. His temper had grown short.  He could not balance the responsibilities of his own household with mom’s 24/7 care needs.

I asked Sean to focus his energy on working with me to find the best care solution for mom’s remaining days, and spend less time hoping mom would snap out of her dementia. He reluctantly agreed. Over the next few weeks, we worked through the process of finding a safe and appropriate memory care community for mom. We gathered clinical information.  We got the family on the same page to support mom.  We reviewed the finances and coordinated the move. Along the way Sean confronted his own short comings.

We are fortunate to have excellent memory care options in the Chicagoland area.  The selected community worked with CarePatrol to create an environment filled with tenderness, compassion and moments of joy in the midst of the reality of dementia. As the days went by, Sean started to express his gratitude and make up for the time he had emotionally disconnected from mom. He discovered the power of forgiveness. He forgave himself for being so harsh, and extended his forgiveness to his mom for having dementia.

Sean recently reached out to tell me his mom had passed. “I’m sorry for being an ass to my mom, and to you.” He thanked me for becoming his support system and anchor during this tumultuous journey. He was also thankful for the profound impact our plan had on his own soul.  Over the last few months he made up for lost time and used every interaction with mom to express his love for her. He said the power he felt through forgiveness and gratitude was transformative. He also thanked me for not giving up on him and for helping him find peace and comfort in the storm of dementia.

When I met with Jay, we had a nice conversation about his family and his desire to get back to the office. He appeared to be living in his memories from 20+ years ago. He had no awareness of his cognitive issues, and got defensive when hospital staff tried to correct him. I did a video call with his family, and they told me I needed to get through to dad so that he understood his condition. They wanted him to stop getting into accidents, stop falling, and be safe in his home. We had to rip off the Band-Aid. What they were asking was impossible. Dad was a danger to himself and others and needed to stop driving immediately. While we have solutions to mitigate some fall risk, eliminating it was not going to happen. Dad was also not capable of living alone.  He was dehydrated, existing off frozen dinners, and living in the same outfit for extended periods of time.

We set up some quick “guidelines’ for the family:

1. Our goal was to give dad the best quality of life possible. We were going to make his world less dangerous, more comfortable, and more enjoyable. Guideline #1 – Safe and appropriate care was going to be the priority and guide decisions moving forward.
2. The video call got heated quickly. The kids argued over next steps. “Dad is just confused, he needs to get home ASAP…He should move in with Liz…We need to put him in a nursing home…When was the last time you saw your neurologist?”  Jay was aware of his families tone and became agitated.  He could not process the conversation and was overwhelmed. This led to guideline #2 – Communication and patience.  Speak calmly, keep conversations simple, limit choices and don’t argue in front of dad.
3. Jay’s mood changed quickly. “They need me back at work now! I can manage my own medications. ! I can take care of myself!” Fortunately, he was redirectable. I played jazz on my phone and he calmed down.  I asked him a legal question and the former lawyer gave me an answer. The family was going to practice this skill.
4. The family was distraught over family and friends giving them caregiving advice. Liz felt extreme guilt over constantly being told dad should move in with her.  She had a career and 3 kids. Don’t allow others to judge you.
5. Everybody seems to know somebody with dementia. Every individual’s care needs are unique. What worked for your neighbor’s mom or the Google review may not be appropriate for dad’s specific care needs. Finding appropriate care options for dad was going to have its challenges. It will be emotionally draining. There were legal and estate planning issues to resolve.  We did not want dad to outlive his financial resources. My job was to slow the world down for the family and get dad the proper care quickly.  The entire family agreed to let that happen.

Within 24 hours we had a care plan in place. CarePatrol worked through a safe discharge from the hospital. We connected the family with the proper legal and financial resources. We toured safe and appropriate memory care communities and moved dad into a community that will give him the care, independence, and sense of purpose to help him finish strong.

When a family reaches out to my CarePatrol office to discuss the struggles associated with dementia symptoms, the emotions range from shock and denial to fear and sadness. Watching the gradual decline of cognitive abilities and the loss of cherished memories can be devastating for both the individual and the family members. Dementia affects not only memory and cognitive function, but also daily routines, independence and relationships. As the disease progresses, simple tasks may become challenging, leading to increased dependence on caregivers.  For family members, assuming the role of caregiver can be emotionally and physically demanding, often causing significant strain on personal relationships and financial resources.

In the face of the Alzheimer’s tsunami, it is essential to emphasize the need for families to have access to support and resources.  CarePatrol is here to offer invaluable assistance to families dealing with dementia.  We help you process the impact of the diagnosis, access appropriate memory care communities and home care options, and reduce the burden of the dementia disease. We guide in planning for the future, making informed decisions, and ensuring the best possible quality of life. We also bring hope, because we understand what you are going through, and no one is better at helping seniors and their families deal with the realities of aging than CarePatrol.

Dementia is a tragic illness.  Although associated with aging, it can strike at any age, and its impact can be devastating for both the patient and their loved ones.  The recent diagnosis of a 19 year old from China with Alzheimer’s is thought to be the youngest person ever found with the disease.  While I have never worked with someone that young, I have advocated for many adults in their 40’s and 50’s with various dementias including Alzheimer’s, frontotemporal and vascular. Receiving an early dementia diagnosis is not easy. In addition to the cognitive and physical challenges, younger people with dementia often have to give up work, causing financial hardship.  Many try to keep their condition at bay for as long as possible by following a healthy diet, exercising, reading and maintaining an active social life.

One of the most challenging aspects of dementia is the toll it takes on family and caregivers.  As the disease progresses, patients may become aggressive, agitated, confused, or lose their ability to communicate. This makes it difficult for caregivers to provide the support they need.

Many caregivers suffer from depression, anxiety and other health problems as a result. In Beth’s case, her former wrestler husband towered over her and she was afraid for herself and her small kids.  During a doctor visit, Jim had “launched” a nurse in the exam room.  They needed help immediately before he hurt himself or the people around him.

Young onset dementia is defined as when symptoms emerge before age 65.  It is estimated that almost 4 million people are living with an early onset of the disease. There is limited awareness of young onset dementia, and it is rare for a primary care doctor to see dementia in younger patients.  Since symptoms in younger people often do not involve memory loss, diagnoses can be delayed. This results in improper diagnosis, a lack of support, and difficulty finding care and housing options in a healthcare system that is geared towards older adults with these cognitive challenges.

In Jim’s case, symptoms first emerged as difficulty comprehending his children, struggling to express his thoughts, difficulty reading, and inability to make simple decisions.  Bruce Willis, who is 67, recently announced that he had frontotemporal dementia, which has similar early symptoms. There is currently no cure for dementia, and treatment options are limited.  There are medications that can help manage symptoms.

While Beth was concerned for her husband, she also had to consider the well-being of herself and her kids. Beth had reached out for help at a point when homecare was no longer an option.  We needed a proper diagnosis, medication management and a community solution for Jim ASAP. We put together a care plan for Jim that involved placement at an experienced memory care community that could deal with his behaviors and his young age while also giving him the independence he needed.

Transitions are difficult, and the first few weeks were a rough road for everyone involved.  With proper medication management, outbursts became less frequent.  The staff became skilled at redirecting Jim to avoid most of his agitation episodes. He made “TV friends” that ate ice cream and watched sports together.  As the family settled into a new routine, the kids began to enjoy visiting dad at his “hotel”, and the other residents looked forward to interacting with the kids and their dog.

Dementia is a degenerative disease, and we needed to confront that reality with the family. Beth told me that once we had a plan in place for Jim, and she was able to go back to being a wife instead of a caregiver, there was a peace in knowing that time was running out.  She said that this allowed her and the kids to value the little thing like Friday night movies in dad’s room and laughing while dad shared his slice of pizza with the dog and then put it back in his mouth.  The oldest daughter told me, “Dad’s life is like a candle.  It’s bright now, but it will be running out soon.”

During the coronavirus emergency, con artists like to take advantage of seniors when they are distracted by trying to obtain their Medicare number or other personal information. It is important to protect this information so seniors do not become victims of Medicare or identity fraud.

Be aware:

• Medicare will never call to sell you anything such as N95 masks or hand sanitizer.
• Medicare will never visit your home to deliver items or collect money.
• Medicare will never call to get your Medicare number or any other personal info unless you called them first.
•  If you get a call from Medicare promising you home food delivery or anything else if you give them information – hang up!

If you are a senior, be alert and review your Medicare claims and summaries! If you love a senior, get engaged, talk to them about potential fraud schemes and report anything suspicious.

If you suspect fraud, call 1-800-MEDICARE.

When working with seniors, we are often dealing with people at their extremes. They can be vulnerable and frail or aggressive and violent – often within short periods of time.

The doctors, nurses, social workers, CNAs, case managers, and caregivers have a lot to deal with. Some of it can be very rewarding and fulfilling, some traumatic and disturbing.

People in these professions witness human behavior at its best and at its worst. We watch as a family comes together to support each other and hold hands around a bedside to pray as the ventilator is turned off.  We also witness horrific abuse that victimizes the most vulnerable amongst us.

In the moments that we are privileged to be a part of and even in the deaths, the involvement of committed professionals can make the process easier for dying patients and grieving families. We also know that the wrong words, a botched blood draw or the wrong medication can have drastic consequences.

I have observed that no amount of advanced technology or life-saving drugs affect a senior more than how they are treated by the skilled and unskilled staff. It is often the nurse or social worker who saw a need and listened to a voice that made a difference. If you work in healthcare or have a loved one that can’t toilet or feed themselves, you know exactly what I am talking about.

These caregivers that do their profession with excellence are true heroes.  They have a staggering amount of responsibility and they do their job while caring for our loved ones with compassion and dignity – often with schedules that take a toll on their own families with missed holidays and school plays.

For all the nurses, caregivers and case managers that are stressed and stretched beyond their capacity and for the staff running from one disaster to the next, I say THANK YOU to the good people that are passionate about what they do and truly make a difference. You are loved.

When we bring families together to talk about next steps in the senior living process for a loved one, it is often the first time the family has all been in the same room, at the same time, having what can be a very difficult conversation. At times, dysfunctional family dynamics can become apparent, and a lifetime of emotions can surface. Other times, something wonderful happens and children come together to support a parent in a way that can make even experienced senior advisors cry.

When a family recently contacted their local CarePatrol office, they knew that Dad could no longer live at home, and that the family, although willing, was not equipped to provide the necessary care. When I asked Dad about how he felt about moving out of his home and how he was navigating the activities of daily living, he told me he felt like his brain was falling apart. Alzheimer’s can be terrifying for everyone involved. Families watch their loved ones waste away and patients dread what they may become.

Currently there is no way to stop the progression of Alzheimer’s. The disease affects not only the patient but also the family that has come together to support them. As the ability to think, reason, recall and navigate daily life deteriorates and becomes more apparent to outsiders, the family starts to feel the affects of the disease. How do you respond when Dad does not recognize you? Do you tell them that the friend they are looking for died many years ago? How should you feel when Mom is confused and can’t find her way home?

It is very noble to want to take care of a parent. Parents take care of us for the first 20 years of our lives, and we should be prepared to take care of them for the last 20 year of theirs. However, there does come a time when it is best to allow professionals to take care of them. CarePatrol is here to help guide seniors and their families to safe living options such as assisted living and memory care communities and in-home care professionals that are dedicated to providing the care that they will need and the support that families crave.

If you need free advice on how to care for a loved one with dementia, please call your local advisor. CarePatrol is here to help!

A call came into our CarePatrol office from a frustrated daughter that had become her father’s maid, nurse, chauffeur, laundry service, bookkeeper, personal chef, and diaper changer.  She had become exhausted to the point that her own health was suffering, and she had not slept through the night in months. This is an all-too-common call, and fortunately, she contacted us before things got worse.

If you feel you may be experiencing caregiver burnout, I recommend that you divide your situation into three manageable tasks:

1 – Beware of the signs that you need help

2 – Take steps to be an effective caregiver

3 – Ask for help

Are you angry or resentful with someone that you love? Are you always tired, feel overwhelmed or short-tempered? Do you notice that you are drinking more, your health is declining or you are feeling isolated?  Do your kids feel neglected or are you missing out on family activities? If you relate to these scenarios, you may need help.

Taking care of a parent is a noble calling. But, we can’t be good caregivers if we neglect ourselves and other responsibilities.  Don’t be afraid to delegate and let other family members help. Sleep and nap. Prioritize your obligations such as the kids’ school activities and working out. Find a support group. Skip the pizza and beer and eat healthily. Share your situation with trusted family and friends.

It is a tremendous relief when you realize that you can’t do it all by yourself. Ask for help! Assign doctor appointments to your brother, laundry to your kids, and shopping to your husband. When it is time to bring in the big guns, call Care Patrol. We can bring in companion care, help you navigate the assisted living process, and recommend eldercare resources like financial experts, eldercare attorneys, senior move managers, and realtors. Call your local CarePatrol advisor today!