1. If you’re in good health, you should be considering purchasing long-term care insurance. This insurance will pay all or part of your home care or assisted living costs when facing care needs. It’s a costly insurance, probably in the range of $300-$400 per month. However, it will potentially cover care costs in the range of $6,000-$10,000 per month when it’s needed.     nnn
2. Pay attention to your changing health care needs, any chronic conditions that may impact your ability to care for yourself. If your physician and nurse are indicating that you may need some extra help, take it seriously. Many Fox Cities Physician offices have social workers you can speak with to gather more information.
3. Understand your financial situation. Are you able to set aside funds for care, or do you already have long-term care insurance? Having 2+ years of private pay (personal) funds to pay for care will give you access to most Northeast Wisconsin care facilities. That total number currently (savings + monthly income over the 2 years) is sitting at about $160,000. If you need help calculating this, our team of advisors can help you.

4. Matching up care needs with safe facilities that match your care requirements today and down the road as well as your budget can be an eye-opening process or a daunting task. Either way, a CarePatrol Senior Advisor can come alongside you to help narrow down the best options.

5. If you do not have the funds to be able to afford the 2 years of private pay, at least try to set aside enough for 3-6 months. This will be helpful to you in an urgent situation where you can pay for your care in a facility for several months while you apply for Medicaid support funding. (note-when applying for Medicaid personal asset levels must down to $2,000 value).  If you do not have at least a few months of private pay funds available, it’s even more critical for you to plan ahead. Get in touch with your county Aging and Disability Resource Center, who can guide you to resources and funding options as your need for support continues to grow. Don’t wait until an emergency, as you will find yourself in a pressure situation.

6. Planning ahead will save you and your loved one’s time, money, stress and a myriad of other problems when care is needed. If at any time you would like no cost guidance, you can reach out to our Fox Valley CarePatrol office at 920-428-0827 to speak with a local senior care advisor.

Michelle Graf,

Owner & Certified Senior Advisor

CarePatrol Fox Cites, Oshkosh, Green Bay

Every day, family caregivers all over Wisconsin are giving from their hearts. They are sacrificing personal time and personal commitments to be there for those who need them most.

Regardless of whether you are a neighbor, a friend or family member of the caregiver, or the person who receives support from the caregiver, please take a moment to show your appreciation for all that they do.

Just recognizing them as a caregiver and acknowledging their efforts is valuable. Like so many caregivers, they simply provide the care without recognizing their sacrifice.

A word of Thanks –  Say it, write it, text it if you must. Something as simple as a thank you reminds the caregiver that their sacrifice has not gone unnoticed.

A small gift of appreciation – Send them a box of candy,  or buy them a meal. A little treat or a meal that someone else makes can be just the thing a caregiver needs to keep up their energy and focus.

Somone to talk with – The Fox Valley area has many support groups for Family Caregivers. These facilitator-led groups generally are comprised of caregivers who discuss and support each other by sharing challenges AND solutions. Learning from someone that has already faced similar situations can be inspiring. If you need help locating an appropriate support group, reach out to our office.

Step in for a day or a week – In order for a family caregiver to be successful, they need periodic days off or vacations just like we all do from our work lives. Offer to fill in so they can take a day off to get some personal errands run. Or, they may need to get away for a relaxing weekend or a vacation. Help them find support for those breaks, even if you personally cannot provide that care directly. Reach out to your local Northeast Wisconsin CarePatrol Advisor who can connect you with additional resources and ideas for respite breaks for the caregivers.

Look around you to find the people who are supporting others in so many ways. Recognize them for their hard work, personal dedication, and heart of a caregiver…especially if that person is you.

Michelle Graf

Certified Senior Advisor

CarePatrol Fox Cities, Oshkosh and Green Bay

The headlines are frightening: Descriptions of nursing homes across the country hit with a rapid spread of Coronavirus. And no doubt, these are truly devastating situations. These tragic events are heartbreaking. The high-risk residents of nursing homes and assisted living communities certainly deserve the best possible care and protection available to them.

Out of concern for their loved ones, I’ve heard from families who are considering moving them out of long-term care facilities into their homes. Under the right circumstances, this certainly can make sense. However, I want to encourage families to look at the full impact of this type of decision before making it.

First, let’s remember that nursing homes are highly regulated medical facilities with stringent safety precautions all aimed at protecting the health and well-being of the residents. Assisted living communities in Wisconsin are licensed and regulated by the state as well. During this pandemic, under the direction of the Wisconsin Department of Health Services and following CDC guidelines, these communities have implemented stricter protocols for their employees, and have limited visits to all but the most critical professionals who are providing essential care and support to the residents.

Before we bring our loved ones home form nursing or assisted living homes, let’s remember the reasons why they are living in a care facility. As I mentioned, these are communities that exist to provide care, support, socialization, safety and security to individuals who need their service. Perhaps your loved one has a physical condition that requires them to receive help with transferring from bed to wheelchair, help with getting dressed and showered, or help on and off the toilet. Are you able to provide that kind of care in your home? Is your home accessible for the individual to be able to move about? Maybe your loved one is living with dementia.

People living with dementia need long-term care when they are no longer safe at home. Perhaps they wander and may walk away from the house when no one is looking, or they no longer recognize the difference between shampoo and a bottle of water. Maybe they need a full day of structured support to keep them from becoming anxious or fearful. Perhaps their days and nights are mixed up; awake all night and keeping the household from getting a full night of rest. These individuals need and deserve 24 hours supervision and support. Are you able to provide that level of care in your home?

Is your home Coronavirus-free? We don’t really know that unless we have quarantined for over 2 weeks. No environment is guaranteed virus-free, not even hospitals, where reports of employees getting the virus are reported regularly.

What if you try it, and things don’t work out at home? Your loved one may or may not have a room to return to. If they are accepted back into a community, they will face a full 14+ day quarantine.

There is no guarantee that your loved one will not be exposed to Coronavirus regardless of their living situation. Remember, nursing home and assisted living communities are professional organizations who are taking all possible precautions to keep your loved ones safe and healthy. It’s the purpose of their existence.

Many conversations throughout life make us uncomfortable. The first time you had to tell your parents you wrecked the car. The talk your parents had with you about puberty. The discussion with your spouse about who would raise your children if you couldn’t. The conversations that trump these in the awkwardness factor all pertain to having to talk about aging and health with your parents.

Some of the topics you will need to address over time include advanced healthcare directives, do not resuscitate orders, finances, stopping driving, bringing in home care or moving to assisted living. These conversations can cause divides in a family leaving mom and dad feeling angry.

In this article, I’m going to share with you some tried and true tips for approaching these sensitive topics that will help each party be heard and leave their dignity intact.  

Tip #1: Prepare your parents.

No one likes to be blindsided. Before having a meaningful conversation with your aging parents and family members, let them know why you want to talk, what you want to talk about, and then meet with them at their convenience. When you approach anyone off-guard, you leave them feeling attacked and immediately put them on the defensive.

Tip #2: Be clear in the “why.”

These conversations are awkward. And without a clear reason why you want to have them, suspicion and a feeling that there are ulterior motives can develop. Let your folks know why you want to have this conversation. Something I said to my parents was “Mom, dad; I want together to go over what your advanced healthcare directives are. I know that you travel a lot and if something should happen to you, I need to know where to find the paperwork, and who you want making your health care decisions if both of you unable to care for the other.” It might feel like you’re nosey, but there’s a definite and honest ‘why’ to the conversation.

Tip #3: Get your siblings on the same page.

Questions about care and finances cause drifts between even the closest of families. Before meeting with your parents, get the siblings together and let them know why you are going to have this conversation, what their concerns are. Reassure them that all the decisions are your parents and that you know they want their parents’ wishes respected. Once you’re all on the same page, bring in a Certified Senior Advisor to work as an intermediary to make sure everyone hears the same thing when it comes to your parents’ or family member’s wishes.

Tip #4: Repeat for clarification.

Everyone wants to be heard. Everyone wants to know you’ve listened to them. One of the best communication techniques to use is repeating for clarification. For example: “Dad, what I hear you say is that if you do need in-home care that you want a male caregiver, is that correct?” or “Mom, if what I’m hearing is correct, you are stating that you’ve set up a burial trust to cover funeral expenses and have a long-term care insurance policy to pay for assisted living, but in the meantime you have investments, social security and a pension to cover your living expenses?” Then pause and let them confirm.

Tip #5: Respect their wishes.

When it comes to taking care of a loved one, we always think that we know best, but at the end of the day, when it comes to care and finances, that is up to the individual. Your parents are adults, they raised you and did an excellent job of it, and they have the right to live their lives how they see fit. Calmly express your concerns, but if they wish to do something else, you need to respect their wishes.

Tip #6: Avoid bringing up the topic all the time.

We all want best for our loved ones, but if you’ve said your peace or they don’t wish to have the conversation at all, you need to respect that and avoid bringing it up every time you visit together. If you continue to beat the proverbial dead horse, it will make things awkward and limit the time you have together making memories and sharing the love.

Tip #7: Keep the peace.

I know I’ve said this a few times, but these are sensitive subjects that often leave emotional nerves raw. If you are meeting as a family, be that voice of reason. Call for time-outs, keep the volume at a conversational level rather than yelling. These decisions are hard, and your family is far more important than them.

Tip #8: Start the conversations early.

If you are the parent and are age 65 and older, start these conversations with your adult children. Start planning before the crises happen. It will give you the feeling of control over the decisions in your life and reduce the stress your children will go through when they don’t know or understand your wishes.

Tip #9: Contract with a Certified Senior Advisor.

Working with a Certified Senior Advisor can help keep you all on the same page while making sure your loved one’s wishes are being heard. In most cases, there is no charge to work with Certified Senior Advisor, but if there is, it’s well worth the investment. They understand the issues and challenges we face as we age.

From understanding, Medicare, Medicaid, Supplemental Plans, advanced healthcare directives, financial power-of-attorney to senior housing, rehabilitation stays, assisted living and home care, a qualified Certified Senior Advisor will bring compassion and understanding while they help you and your family navigate through the issues regarding aging.

When we first start working with families and seniors, the first thing we hear is “We can’t afford assisted living”, but when we start putting things into perspective, they realize just how much they can afford it.

Before we start touring with our clients, we look at doing an analysis to determine what you can afford. This is something you can easily do on your own. Here’s how!

Step 1: What are my housing costs? Gather together your housing costs for the month. Include expenses like your utility costs, what you spend on maintenance such as snow removal, landscaping and yard care, etc. Don’t forget about preventative maintenance costs such as your furnace inspections. Also take your property tax and divide that by 12 for a monthly average.

Step 2: What are your monthly utility costs? Every month you are paying utility bills for heat, electric, water, sewer and even in some cases garbage pick-up. Get those bills together and figure out how much you are spending every month.

Step 3: How much are you spending on groceries? Most of the time you don’t consider this an expense to factor in, but most assisted livings offer a meal plan. Some you can opt out as well, but it’s important to consider those costs when determining what’s all included in your monthly assisted living expenses.

Step 4: What are your income sources? The reason we suggest looking at each source is that you might be bringing in more income than you realized when you factor in such things as pensions, 401(k), investments, social security, long-term care insurance. If you are selling home, how much are you anticipating getting, how long will you need it to supplement your income?

Once you’ve got all of your numbers, add together steps 1-3. This will give you a total on what you’re currently spending on housing costs. Reviewing your income sources, taking into consideration other factors such as health and age, you’ll be able to use that information to determine what you can afford each month. If you’re still unsure, reach out to a Certified Senior Advisor for assistance. Some charge, others, like CarePatrol are a free service. Together we can find you an option that fits within your income while meeting your care needs.

In my business, I hear it all the time. I’m not old enough for a nursing home; I’m not sick enough. That is a misperception that the Senior Living industry has been overcoming for years.

While it’s true, Senior Living isn’t right for everyone, before you opt-out of it, ask yourself these five questions to learn if senior living is right for you.

1. Do I still want to take care of my own home? Home is where you raised your children, lived with your family, there’s a sentimental attachment to it. But caring for a home can get overwhelming. It costs money and time, especially when you would much rather be enjoying life and the experiences it has to offer.

2. Am I old enough? There are so many levels of senior living available to you including Independent Senior Apartments, Assisted Living Apartments, Assisted Living Communities, and more. Many newer properties are like vacation resorts and are geared towards active professionals 55 years and older. They offer a host of amenities and provide an active lifestyle.

3. Do I spend too much time alone? Social isolation affects the body just as much as illnesses do. It causes depression and anxiety. If you are socially isolated because of location or you need more motivation to interact with peers, then moving to a senior living community might be right for you.

4. How much space do I need? Senior apartments range in size. Some start at 1500 square feet or more and others go as small as 700 square feet. Depending upon your budget and how much down-sizing you are comfortable with will all factor into your decision.

5. How long can I afford it? People are living longer. And while there are affordable options for everyone, you still want to be good financial stewards when it comes to your care. Understanding your finances and the amount you need to expend every month will help you determine when it would make economic sense to move.

Even if you aren’t ready to move into a Senior Living community at this present moment, working with a Certified Senior Advisor can help. They will be able to educate you on how to pay for your Senior Living and health care needs, as well as understand what your options are. By pre-planning, you will know when Senior Living is right for you!

There was a news story that came out of WPCO in Cincinnati, Ohio earlier in July 2018. Reporters were talking with Karen Humphreys, a family caregiver who has spent the last six months trying to get her father’s medical needs met. After a fall, he was going to need in-home supportive care services.

To fully understand her situation, watch the video below. https://www.wcpo.com/news/insider/i-team-navigating-senior-health-care-can-frustrate-families

If you are a family caregiver, I bet you’ve felt a similar frustration. There is so much information out there when it comes to senior healthcare that it can be overwhelming. Here are some quick facts that you need to know.

Medicare and insurance do NOT pay for supportive home care or assisted living.

While there is proposed legislation that Medicare might cover supportive home care in the future, that is not a given yet. Currently, Medicare and insurance will only cover care if the patient needs care or treatment that can only be done by a licensed nurse or medical professional. For example, treatments like wound care, tube feedings, and therapy.

Because of the confusion of what Medicare and insurance covers, many seniors aren’t prepared for the costs of long-term assisted living, and find their resources drained faster than they had planned.

There are organizations that can help you, FREE of charge.

We are blessed in Wisconsin. We have the Aging & Disability Resource Centers (ADRCs) in every county. They can provide you with all the information you need to know about Medicare and Medicaid. They also can give you a list of resources that might be available to you.

In addition to ADRCs, there are Certified Senior Advisors (CSA). Not all of them charge. At CarePatrol, we are a FREE service to you and your family. My role as a CSA is to help you understand financially what your parent or older relative is responsible for, what Medicare and insurance covers, and I can also help you find the care you need. Whether it’s in-home care or an assisted living, together we will find a solution that fits within your budget and meets your loved one’s care needs.

Recently, I’ve had a few families reach out with concerns about a senior loved one who needs care, but who refuses to move to an assisted living community because they have a pet (or 2 or 3) that they simply cannot leave behind. This is understandable given that so many of us consider our pets to be family members, and pets are wonderful companions for seniors, helping to keep them engaged, busy and connected with the world around them.

The good news is that more communities are allowing seniors to bring along Fido or Tabby. These communities will typically require a non-refundable pet deposit between $300-500. They also generally will require that the senior have the ability to provide the necessary care for the pet. This requirement can be tricky for some, so we have found a few communities that are able to assist with pet care, if necessary.

If you’re having trouble finding a pet-friendly assisted living community, call your CarePatrol Senior Care Advisor for assistance.

A couple of weeks ago I had a client tell me that her mom had dementia and that she wanted her to move into a memory care community. The client then asked, “What exactly is a memory care community?” I realized that I couldn’t answer the question because, as I looked at all the assisted living facilities and nursing homes that I’ve worked within Northeast Wisconsin, I could only recall one that would say “no” if someone walked in their door and said, “Do you offer memory care?”

Memory Care Facilities

Without industry standards, memory care is open to interpretation. There are “memory care” units that are locked, those that are delayed (15 seconds) egress, and some facilities with doors that open freely. There are assisted living facilities that provide “memory care” as part of their standard care service to any senior, or small 4–16 resident communities that offer their own version. There are large apartment buildings providing meals and medication administration, facilities that provide specialized activities to seniors with early to mid-stage dementia, others that specialize in later stage dementia, and those that serve residents with behavioral challenges — all offering “memory care” services.

So, how does one find the right “memory care?” It’s important to not get hung up on the words and, instead, focus on finding the right care for your loved one. In the case of my client, I explained that we needed to work together to understand her mother’s care needs today and, in the mid-term, to understand her social preferences, work within her budget and clarify the expectations of the family and POA. These factors will be critical in finding the safest and most appropriate “memory care” for this individual, no matter how we chose to define it.