How to Convince Your Parents it’s Time to Move

By CarePatrol of Baltimore

Has Mom or Dad been struggling to get around the home they’ve lived in for years? Or, are they getting confused or overwhelmed taking care of themselves or each other? If so, it may be time to have “the talk.”

Confronting your parents on a possible move to an independent living or assisted living facility—or even nursing care if the situation calls for it—can be a touchy business. Many aging parents associate such communities with the infamous title of “the home.” It bears a strong negative connotation, especially since many nursing homes didn’t always have the best standards for care. Mom or Dad don’t want to be just a number, and they certainly don’t want to lose their independence.

When is the Right Time to Go to A Retirement Home?

Moving to a senior living facility can be a difficult and emotional decision for older adults and their families. Many seniors stubbornly resist the idea of losing their independence and leaving the home they’ve worked so hard for. However, there are some signs that indicate that it may be the right time to consider a transition to assisted living, such as:

Declining health
Impaired mobility
Difficulty with daily tasks such as cooking, cleaning, bathing, or dressing
Isolation or loneliness
Worsening anxiety and depression
Safety concerns or risks of falls, accidents, or injuries
Memory loss or cognitive impairment

If you notice any of these signs in your parents, you may want to start a conversation with them about the benefits of moving to a senior living facility. It’s a delicate subject, but CarePatrol is here to make it easier.

The good news is that aging care has drastically altered and improved over the years. Many assisted living communities are moving away from the old ways and prioritizing quality of care in a welcoming, home-like atmosphere. Of course, there will always be exceptions, so do your research and take caution when finding the right place.

For help choosing the right assisted living community for your older family members, contact CarePatrol today. Below are some tips on how to approach this sensitive topic and help your parents make a smooth transition.

Tip #1: Start the Conversation Early

A good way to begin the conversation is to observe the specific situation and see it from mom or dad’s point of view. Many older parents hold fast to their pride and don’t see that they need help since they’ve managed for so long on their own. It’s even more complicated if age-related memory loss is a factor. A calm and reassuring demeanor, along with understanding and compassion, will go a long way. Try to make them feel validated and safe. If you’re finding it difficult to do so, you may want to consult a therapist or channel your frustrations into something productive. Just be sure you’re not taking it out on them.

Don’t wait until there is a crisis or an urgent need to move your parents to a senior living facility. Instead, start the conversation early and gradually, when your parents are still healthy and independent. This will give them time to process the idea and explore their options without feeling pressured or overwhelmed. Early intervention or planning can save a lot of heartache later. You can bring up the topic casually by mentioning a friend or a relative who has moved to a senior living facility and how they are enjoying it. You can also ask your parents about their preferences and expectations for their future living arrangements. For example, you can ask them:

Where do you see yourself in a few years?
Are you planning on aging in place?
What are some of the things that you enjoy doing at home?
What are some of the things that you find challenging or stressful at home?
How do you feel about living alone or with someone else?
What are some of the features or amenities that you would look for in a senior living facility?
How would you feel about moving to a senior living facility if you needed more support or care?

By asking open-ended questions and listening to your parents’ answers, you can show them that you respect their opinions and feelings. You can also learn more about their needs and preferences, which will help you find a suitable senior living facility for them.

Always keep mental health in mind. Patience is key to getting the information you need from them, and to figuring out a solution that is safe, cost-effective, and beneficial to both of you. It’s also important to just listen sometimes, and ask probing questions. Is the reason they haven’t moved due to pride? Or is it a fear of being alone? Or having no privacy? As soon as you understand their concerns, it’s much easier to figure out the next step.

If you’re having problems gaining the necessary information and developing a rapport, consider bringing in a third-party professional. A long-trusted doctor or family friend could be a good mediator since they know your loved one well and have their best interests at heart. Sometimes hearing it from others goes a long way to realizing you need help.

Tip #2: Focus on the Positives

Many seniors may have negative perceptions or stereotypes about senior living facilities. They may think that they are boring, depressing, expensive, or restrictive. To overcome these misconceptions, you need to focus on the positives and highlight the benefits of moving to a senior living facility. Some of the benefits that you can emphasize are:

Improved quality of life: Senior living facilities offer a variety of services and amenities that can enhance your parents’ well-being and happiness. For example, they can provide nutritious meals, housekeeping, laundry, transportation, medication management, personal care services, and more. An assisted living center can also offer social activities, entertainment, fitness programs, a communal dining room, hobbies, and clubs that can keep your parents active and engaged.
Increased safety and security: Senior living facilities are designed to meet the specific needs and challenges of older adults. They have features such as grab bars, ramps, emergency call systems, fire alarms, and sprinklers. These features work together to prevent falls, accidents, and injuries. In addition, there are trained staff members available 24/7 to assist your parents in case of any emergency or medical issue.
Reduced stress and worry: Moving to a senior living facility can relieve your parents from the burden of maintaining a home and managing their finances. It can also reduce your stress and worry as a caregiver, knowing that your parents are well taken care of and supported.

You can also show your parents some examples of senior living facilities that match their preferences and budget. Visit websites, collect brochures, or take virtual tours. You can also arrange for in-person visits or trial stays that allow your family member to experience the facilities firsthand.

Tip #3: Involve Your Parents in the Decision-Making Process

One of the biggest fears that seniors have about moving to a senior living facility is losing their autonomy and control over their lives. To avoid this feeling, you need to involve your parents in every step of the decision-making process. It is imperative to respect their wishes and choices, even if they differ from yours.

Some of the ways that you can involve your elderly parents are:

Asking for their input and feedback on different senior living facilities
Taking tours of assisted living facilities with them
Comparing the pros and cons of each option with them
Allowing them to set the pace and timeline for the move
Helping them sort through their belongings and decide what to keep, donate, or sell
Encouraging them to personalize their new space with their favorite furniture, photos, or decorations
Supporting them during the move and helping them settle in

By involving your parents in the decision-making process, you can show them that you value their independence and dignity. You can also make them feel more comfortable and confident about moving to a senior living facility.

Once they seem more open to the idea of moving, it’s a good idea to take a tour of a potential retirement community, if possible. A good community will offer a free tour of their facilities, so your parents can see what their new home would look like and feel less intimidated.

Tip #4: Be Patient and Compassionate

Moving to a senior living facility is a major life change that can trigger various emotions in your parents. They may feel sad, angry, anxious, guilty, or resentful about leaving their home and lifestyle behind. They may also experience grief, loss or depression after the move.

As a family caregiver, you need to be patient and compassionate with your parents during this transition. You need to acknowledge their feelings and validate their concerns. You need to reassure them that you love them and care for them. You need to support them emotionally and practically. By being patient and compassionate with your parents during this transition, you can help them cope with their emotions and adjust to their new environment.

Tip #5: Consult A Professional

If you don’t have much knowledge or experience with senior living options, it’s best to meet with a professional, like a senior housing placement specialist. CarePatrol is one of many organizations that offer free senior housing placement. We meet with you or your loved one, determine their needs and price range, and suggest potential matches. We will also accompany you on tours, explain the communities’ features and services, and help you ask the right questions. With extreme attention to detail, we weed out any particularly bad matches that don’t fit your price range or needs, thus saving you time and reducing the stress on your family.

CarePatrol professionals can also help convince your loved one that moving can be a good thing by explaining the many benefits these communities provide. For example, not being responsible for cooking, cleaning, and laundry frees up a lot of time to meet new friends, exercise regularly, play games, and try new hobbies!

For More Guidance Transitioning to Assisted Living, Reach Out to CarePatrol

Moving to a senior living facility is not an easy decision for older adults and their families. However, by following these tips, you can convince your parents that it is the best option for their health, safety, and happiness.

Unless the situation is dire, don’t be pushy when broaching this subject. It’s best to get your parent to come to this realization themselves. Even with all the best features in the world, a senior community can feel like a prison for an unwilling resident. Consider asking friends or acquaintances for their positive testimonials and experiences with senior communities, and see if the potential matches allow you to bring items from the home to personalize living quarters. The best conversations with your aging parents involve patience, empathy, and kindness.

CarePatrol is a national senior housing placement agency. If you or your elderly family members need to find a new home, consider talking to a CarePatrol housing placement specialist. They will sit down with you, assess your needs and financial situation, and offer the best options they can find. They are also available for tours and guidance during your final search.